don't ask me why, don't ask me how come..

i went to read her blog just a while ago.
im all sad again. sigh.

i really wonder how is she doing.. still with her other half? still biking? still fretting over him? is she happy over there?

sometimes people say, let go. easier said than done. i'm barely reaching 21. and i see my friends, my relatives, my young cousin, leaving. why is life so freaking unfair? don't you know they are still young? why can't they, like any of us, be given a chance to study, to fall in love, have a career, a family?

i've not, and will not come to terms with myself.

and i wonder if its an irony.. some people treat funeral like a joke, whatsoever. if that's the kind of respect you can give, i rather you keep it.

should memories of the deceased be left behind? being a greedy person i am, i'll want to be a part of my loved ones' memory.. reminisce, not dwell.

why do we only treasure when they are gone? sigh.

felt better blogging this out. not for your pleasure really. plainly for my inner self to "shout out" how i really feel.

did education made me perceive my future with a rosy picture?
or is it just me, gripping on naive infantile dreams?
i had lofty dreams.. but reality hit hard and crushed them all..

my future is getting more and more undefined.

XXX

im such an escapist.

XXX

do you understand me?

XXX

gah. forgive my random-ness.

met up with ivy today. had fun really.. would you believe me when i say the both of us yakked non stop? really glad to meet up with her, i finally found an outlet to air some complaints. (thanks so much girl.)

had a great time catching up and talking about everything. learnt interesting insights about physio and bone structures. there wasnt any difficulty sustaining the conversation at all. so much so that i found the ride home a tad too fast. like so much to say, so little time.. really missed those bus rides with her back in tkgs.

some friends are meant for a lifetime, others will only be acquaintances.. or even strangers.

XXX

this sem is going to be really busy. at least 10 big/small projects waiting for me to complete. which is.. daunting. i wonder if they'd sap all my energy. gosh.. i do hope i'd do a good job. >_<

watched "spirited away" last night. it's an out-of-the-world animation.. but revolves around the central theme of love. felt the same kinda feeling when i watched "princess mononoke". heartwarming~~

recently quite into online accessories blogs. some bloggers have really interesting designs! whimsical~ definitely unique. like this blog run by ntu comm students. even their pics are so artsy! :)

manga fans.. skip beat is super so interesting now~~ i used to think ren tsuruga is so cool. well he still is (especially when he's revealing jealousy bit by bit)! just that i think the other guy is so cute too! and his personality is so.. interesting (goodness im running out of adjectives). he thinks alot before putting his thoughts into action.. a sensible, yet childish guy. go read and find out.

i want mika nakashima "the end" album! and i want kate's brown eyeshadow (tried to find it at one of the beauty counters but they don't have the one i want.. determined to get it somehow).. new additions to my wish list! gee. and i think vivienne westwood's apparel/accessories are sooo cool. i wish i was rich enough.. *frown.. gosh im so influenced by nana. ha.

and i need LOTR i and ii for my module.. help help!

lastly.. i want to watch "happy birthday" by louis koo and rene liu. anyone? :)

really random stuff..

the tkgs peeps! almost wrecked settlers' cafe. lol. new year's eve 2006.

at marina square. met up with jiemin for a really short while in starbucks. new year's eve 2006.

kjt's handphone pouch. a bit demeaning but this pouch is really.. i leave it to you to fill in the blank. christmas eve 2006.

my alma mater. i went back and some things just felt so strange/foreign. like the unusual decor.. lots of it. but some things never change..

... like walking across this linkway and reading those motivational posters on the wall.

my bestest boss! :) lol.. he is so dressed up for the christmas "mini celebration"! by the way, the pink tag on him is not his. for the temps. act cute! bleahh.. 22 dec 2006.

diamond christmas tree! i love all the chandeliers.. and the big diamond star! woohoo. one of the rare trees that's so classy and cool! :)

ganbee gave me an illustration book for birthday. and i love this line.. it's just so apt.

more updates later :)

sidetrack. mini weird episode.

im such a skeptic these days. thanks to marketing, i perceive all strangers who approach me with a hidden/obvious agenda.

i was on my way home when i was approached by this guy at boon lay mrt station. i waved my hand to express disinterest before he even spoke.. which is what i always do to strangers armed with donation booklets. i abhor commission related donation activities.

plus, my feet were already 2 steps on the stairs.

so i guess he was stuck in a situation whereby, "should i continue?"
and he decided to carry on.

he: just came from school right? (and trying to build rapport, i guess, by saying along the line he just reached the bus interchange from school too)

me: yah?

he: oh, so are you a student?

me: yah? (duh?..)

i cant remember how he ended the short convo. i left, utterly puzzled.

strange thing is, he wasn't holding any file/folder/paper/pen/donation booklet! (well, at least he appeared like he is empty handed).

stranger thing is, i still have no clue of what was he trying to drive at!

strange people.

will you stop coughing?!

i've been coughing for MONTHS.

during this period of time, i figured out this "cycle for coughing".

it starts out with dryness, usually you will (or at least, myself) experience the sore throat "premonition".. and more than often, it's due to influenza.

then it'll aggravate to phelgmy cough.. and as for now, the dryness comes back AGAIN. gah.

it's like a reflex action to cough now. it's uncontrollable. now i dont even know whether is it the dryness of my cough that tickles. it's really horrible. currently, im coughing at least 20 times per hour. i feel like such an externality.

ok, as you read on... you are so going to scold me.

this whole time, i refuse to see the doctor. ok, i have my reasons. i mean what's the whole big fuss about coughing that you have to see the doctor? to me, seeing the doctor = im terribly sick (like high fever. seriously horrible. the alcohol stupid rash dont even classify a need to see the doctor! ok, that's my personal take.) and anyway, you know the doctor will prescribe that black brown cough syrup.. which you can buy it easily elsewhere.

BUT. the problem is.. i DISLIKE cough syrup. it has just this weird aftertaste. yelch. so.. i've been coughing without medication. you clap and say, "serve you right for dragging this episode for so long!"

AND.. my purpose of posting this up is.. anyone knows any quick fixes for dry cough? anything other than cough syrup and doctors. arrr.. i hate medicine la. happy? give me some suggestions people! save my poor throat!! >_<

i wanted to change a blogskin for the new year, but it looks pretty tough.. well, next time perhaps.

it's been raining like a broken tap these days, looks like the monsoon came a tad later than expected.

the air is cold and melancholic, somewhat suffocating.

i know im not conscientious about updates, so news doesnt seem new after all. nonetheless im still blogging.

friends.
jiemin came and left for indiana, again. we met up and talked like the good old days, like nothing was changed. words left unspoken, but deep down, we know.

sianchen is leaving for boston tomorrow, but she cant find time to meet up with me. sigh. but she promised to meet up this may.. so.. let's see how it goes.

i got to meet up with tk peeps, like ivy, puehboon, bunz and lisi. which was fun. im really thankful because i can still keep in touch with my gang.. we are leading different life paths but when we do meet up, everything feels so similar once more.

im worried for a friend, im not sure how i can help.

school.
i did better last sem. but i thought it's possible to do much better. so new goals set for this sem. i hope i won't disappoint myself.

ironically, back in campus for the first week is a torture. gearing up the momentum yet again. sigh. studying is such a crappy chore. urgh.

work (then).
noel has been fun with nice boss and interesting juniors.. very interesting indeed.

life.
i wonder what's wrong with me. i refuse to move forward. i dont want to detour either. im just stuck in my obstinate thinking.

right.. what's wrong with me.

ok.. i haven't been blogging for a while AGAIN. im sure u guys missed me! say yes! :)

time to backtrack.

2006 IS history. a quick glance at 2006..

my cousin's wedding..
i was a hair model. *woohoo
got my darling VS6!
survived financial management & accounting.. (i almost died along the way)
goodbye hall 1. goodbye you slacker hostelite! lol..
my 1st geeky specs!
start of manicure fetish.
part time bank receptionist. part time hair colour advisor.
junie left. i cried like crazy.
i zhng-ed my VS6! (although it looks very amateur-ish)
got "separated" from my year 1 classmates! they went banking & finance.. i went marketing! boohoo..
absolutely captivated by forensic science. :)
start of birkenstock fetish
i clubbed.
i got intoxicated.
fell in love with L in Death Note and Death Note II
fell in love with Shin Goon (for a short while only) in Princess Hours
loved pilots.. because of HK drama! woohoo. (why am i such a TV fanatic.. *gasp)
survived year 2 sem 1!
worked at noel as an experienced senior data entry part-timer (long title huh? :D)
celestine (my cousin's baby.. with the same birthday as me!) 1st month celebration
FIRST budget trip to BANGKOK with my kakis!! :)
first attempt to make a speech
i went vivocity!
first time at settlers' cafe (where you play card/board games)

hmm.. exciting year really. 2007 will be even better. *hopeful look