i felt so guilty when i cant get things right. i cant. i just cant.

so far, cny has been almost identical for the past few years - steamboat, tk gang house visits and getting visited by relatives. excited as i was, but, the excitement wears out fast too. especially when it was the day before sch starts. cny mood's gone. and here comes the fear and guilt for not doing i should have accomplished during the cny period -- studying and completing some tutorials.

anyway, uploaded pictures of my cnys.. :

cny 05 at mingshu's house

"cny" gathering at jiemin's house - 6 jan 06

the group of us at huiting's hse on 2nd day of cny 06

actually this hasnt been a good week for me. i lived in constant fear and weariness abt understanding the lectures, doing tutorials, completing group projects, and other whatnots. in a way i felt burdened by the loadful of stuff i have to accomplish, and at the same time, i felt that ive burdened the others too. e.g. i didnt exactly do my fair share for accounting group work. although i did the transparencies and tried to collate the group's answers, i felt like a free rider. .. correction. i am a free rider. g r e a t.

a few others also.. tutorials, sigh. im lagging le. others are moving forward, yet im stuck here. the irony is that, i did nth much to salvage the current situation. just what am i doing all along.. when i attempted some qns and got stuck, felt lousy when others exclaimed at my questions, "you mean you don't know how to do?"

now im overwhelmed with more projects and tests, on top of all the tutorials and studying... tell me 24 hrs is enough.

ps. pardon my grammar.. gosh. atrocious.