hello,


i have a plastic smile.


behind the smile, behind the facade,
how much do you actually know about me?

omgggg..

i can't imagine that to be my reaction. i'm so unfriendly!

i was on the bus this morning and i thought i saw my primary school friend.
anyway, i chose to believe that he's not my primary school friend and stood somewhere far away from him.

*buzz* *buzz* i received a sms from him, asking if i were on the bus.

"uh.. ya?"

i looked around.. spotted and confirmed him, waved.. and guess what? or should i ask what would you usually do?

you'd go up to him and talk right?

guess what, i chose to wave hello and TURNED AWAY from him! omg. and he's one of the few friends that i still (kinda) keep in contact with! what's freaking wrong with me.

thankfully, he's a nice chap. he gave up his seat, walked towards me (the standing area near the exit) and started a small talk.

urgh.

sorry friend. it's just me, don't know how to react yeah. =/

so.. the next time, if you see me.. could you make the first move and say hi, like what my friend did, please?

i don't think i'd know how to make the first move. im bloody passive. gah.

dear friend, how are you doing?

we used to sit around the same table, eating from the same stall during recess time.



we fretted about school work together.
we used to lounge in the libraries, cafes, and even the airport to mug for important exams.



there were endless topics to talk and laugh about.




(postnote: ganbee! i seriously didnt deliberately miss out ur pic! who ask you don't wear black for the "black society night"?! *wink*)

we used to hug and cry our hearts out together.
we used to hymn in the bus and need not care how the others look.



we shared secrets.
we could sit in a corner and talk about the same topic for hours, without getting bored.



we wrote postcards to each other, even though we got to see each other almost everyday.

we gave little gifts to each other, and special occasions were made more meaningful because of you.



dear friend, how are you doing?

things took a twist of fate and our paths diverged. the oath of "friends forever" seem, taken for granted. reality is cruel and painful, and we can do nothing about it.

dear friend, how are you doing?

woah. it's been a long time.. hope you guys aren't too bored looking at the dumb pic of my bruise. ha.

some random updates:

professional attachment started and i've been getting busy with an up-and-coming project. busy, but i'm happy. it's an eye-opener so far, and i believe i will be experiencing more thrills in the weeks to come :)



this is one of the nights for pre-launch event of The Arena, the new mega club in Singapore.. interested? do come down for a night of glitz and glamour! (:

3b river valley road, #01-08, clarke quay.

fyi, my new alias is "jayne". or rather, in QB term, my "platform name". yes, im sick of repeating my name to the other party when i know they can never get it right (at least for the 1st few times). i lost count of the times my name is mispronounced or un-recalled (if there's such a word). something easy to remember now, and it's close to my name. all ends well. ha. i believe i'll continue to use it when meeting "hi-&-byes". save the trouble.

i'm soo into blog-shopping & mastered slops-skimming. found some good slops! ask me for details (:

i'm so going to be a basics junkie. topshop, mango, dorothy perkins. plus the lovely long necklace chains.. finallyyyy took note of the raves. i wonder if this is a sign of growing old or something, that youngster streetwear style is getting distant. gah.

i realised the way i walk is horridly wrong! omg!! is it because i wear birkies too often? i begin to notice that i walk like this..



facing outwards! omgg!! it's even more noticeable when i wear pointed heels. damn. super weird. how should i correct this, anyone? :(

sorry guys,

my net is kinda irritating, working = low energy level, tying up loose ends for an interview assignment, and not forgetting that im a plain procrastinator.. hence explaining the lack of posts. so much to do, so little time.

this entry is really -_-''.. i promise i will try my best to churn out a good quality entry ASAP. i told u i've got lots of bloggable materials. not kidding.. just, no time. =/

so now, make do with this crappy photo. oops.



people, please don't dump my blogsite yeah. i will be back. :D

great music to share

thanks rainbow, for introducing such a great band to me.

"little love song" - by sodagreen :)
great voice, beautiful lyrics



"little planet" - by sodagreen
this song is apt. i wish i can have my little planet..

omg! i've got so much blog-able materials that i don't know which one to start! -_-''


for a quick warm-up, i shall just begin with something short and sweet.


MAY - the month of birthday boys and girls
oh gosh. it's just the start of may and i've celebrated THREE 21st birthdays - for koh, jeraldine and chua. the parties were fun and delectable.. ha.


*jeraldine's

the tkgirls were EXTREMELY early for jeraldine's party. in fact, i think we came before 1400, which was the stated time. and this is highly unusual for the tkgirls.. ha. mini drama happened because mingshu arranged the usual latecomers to meet at 1230, and the rest at 1300. but the rest, which included me, came later than 1300. lol. so poor ivy who came at 1230 sharp almost turned into a fossil waiting for us.. oops. but we were still so early! ha.


the party was like an excuse for tkgirls/old & current classmates gathering. i forgot how long ago since i last saw siqing, kaikhim and jessica. so the feeling is great, as if nothing much is changed. :)


then the usual party phenomenon starts - very obvious inner circles dispersed in the party area. but people like the birthday girl, poh, "FS" group, huiting & puay yee did make the effort to mingle. other than that our clique was busy buzzing about boyfriends, school and other random stuff. which was so usual. lol. ha. i really miss this kind of small talks. we can just go on and on, take a short break, and talk again. endless topics :) i like it! woohoo~


anyway, jeraldine has so many friends eh! she invited 50 people if i'm not wrong.. and it's considered to be exclusive invite le eh. so just imagine her network of friends. plus the turn-out rate was good. then i thought, if i had a birthday party, who'd turn up? not many, or none, i guess.. since my birthday always falls on EXAMINATION PERIOD. sigh. so no party for me i guess =(


after jeraldine's party, i moved on to hui min's.


*hui min's
i went to chua's birthday party initially with an obligatory mind. main reason is because the people i knew, which includes the birthday girl, are not that close with me.. i was afraid to be the odd one out. besides, chua's party theme is BARBIE & KEN. how on earth am i going to dress like Barbie?! ha.. nonetheless i went, after much persuasion by zhenhui and some thinking through that it might not be nice to pangseh.


chua's party was held in some safra resort in tanah merah. the environment is great, albeit being real ulu-ated (it was so ulu that my handphone kept getting INDONESIA's network!). and chua was so excited to see me! lol. at least that was what i thought.. so phew, at least i felt more at ease.


then i played friendly MAHJONG (meaning, no chips involved) with chua's friends + family! and it helps because the table of us are all rather amateur with the game. nonetheless, i got qing yi se + dui dui hu for the first round! lol! so happy~ :)


and mahjong really works wonders ok. it is such a great social game! you don't have to know each other beforehand and the group can just sit together and start playing! so that helps again to make me feel less isolated. haha.


zhenhui and shihui were learning mahjong on the spot! and they got so addicted~ :)

and i was saying the safra resort place is sooo ulu-ated. yes that kind you have to take a SHUTTLE BUS into the place. and the bus comes and leaves ON TIME! urgh. we missed the shuttle bus just by that MINUTE ok?! all we could do is to see the bus leaving before our eyes. gah.





all in all, i had 2 slices of chocolatey birthday cakes; great parties and loads of fun! have a glamourous 21st, girls :)

p.s. sorry, this is not a short post after all. :)

(POST NOTE: My self-proclaimed manager, Mr Liu, is mad at me for not dedicating an entry for his birthday. Sigh, he already has all the lovebirds to celebrate with him what *his birthday falls on 14 Feb.. LOL. So here's to you, Mr Liu.. For the super late.. HAPPY 21st! =D )

mr koh jt, it's your birthday!

had a mini and early (surprise) birthday celebration for mr koh jt at changi village on labour day. whether you believe it or not, it was my first time at changi village. ha. and it's so not what i've expected. i was picturing a restaurant by the beach, a scenic view of the sea and a lonely kelong along with it.


(image from nedbatam.com)


and it turns out that changi village is just another hawker centre, just like one you see near bedok bus interchange. the features that clearly distinguish changi village from the rest are the horrible car parking (or rather grab-whatever-available-space-there-is act) and the flocks of people queuing for delectable seafood and malay food (which has a freaking longggg queue -_-''). as you can imagine, the place was full of people. luckily there were nicey drinks stall aunty and uncle who helped us look for seats!



(image from: www.can.com.sg)

and yeah as we waited for our feast, surprise surprise! we got mr koh a yummy chocolate truffle! AND WE SANG HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN THE SUPER PACKED FOOD CENTRE eh!! which was, quite embarrasing. heh.


that's not the end of the surprise.. we got mr koh a braun buffel wallet! dearest poh combed the "entire orchard road for it". lol. and so indeed mr koh was so touched. as i described to zhiming, koh was acting like a small old man (xiao lao tou) muttering (with tears welling up), "it was just a passing remark eh.." *sob sob. lol.


after the seafood feast, we moved on to get MORE FOOD! lol. some of us had sudden cravings for chwee kuey, rojak, and dessert. yes we were bloated.


koh jt was gentlemanly enough to offer us a ride home. lol. he parked his car in an.. ultra-ulu and weird spot to avoid the car park frenzy. directions went abit wrong, his sitting posture quite weird and bee went mad to give herself a seemingly vulgar "name". ha.


happy 21st, mr koh. (:

finally.

exams is over -- yet i don't feel joy or disappointment, whatsoever.

it frightens me how scary i can be. my i-don't-care attitude is getting out of hand and that's scary. a thousand conflicting thoughts dashed across my mind and yet, i allowed the devil to control me eventually. what kind of crap cognitive dissonance is that. freak.

exams always make me realise what a loner i can be. loner, not lonely. people have cliques to go school/home together. i don't. basically i don't find a need to.. more importantly, i'm afraid that i might run out of topics to talk about. then what? silence? if so i'd rather make do with a hi-and-bye.

to my kakis who smsed me during the exam period.. i'm sorry for the reply turnaround time to be 24hrs (or more). i genuinely forgot to reply most of the time. then i realise if i were to lose that bit of touchpoint, i would be detached from you guys already. and more than often i'm the one not making the effort. sigh.

selfish me.